Written by 12 year old girls — BUT I can’t help loving it!

As season one begins, Kevin Archer (the hot boy) leaves an abusive home to follow his boyfriend, Toby, to Dante’s Cove — a remote tropical island populated by beautiful young residents, gay, lesbian and straight. Unbeknownst to Kevin, Dante’s Cove has a dark and dangerous history, and he is unwittingly (and tediously) being drawn into a web of supernatural intrigue.

When Dante’s Cove started on GO! 10.30 on Mondays, facebook was all a flutter with excited boys and girls. It sounded like it was going to be very hot. I was expecting Queer as Folk on the beach with witches and magic. I was pretty excited to see it too.

So I lay there on the couch, beer and chips on the table, all excited like a pubescent school boy; I was about to be a very disappointed boy though. Oh my gawd! If you could have seen my face, I just looked at my boyfriend sitting next me and burst out laughing. It was bad; Very, very bad. It must have been written by twelve-year-old girls — Days of our Lives has a better script. And as for the acting and direction, I’m not sure where to even start. It’s lucky Kevin, (played by Gregory Michael,) looks so damn hot with his clothes off, because if he had to rely on those acting skills, he’d be waving a squeegee at you when you stop at the lights. To be fair though, the guys in general are all pretty ordinary actors and are covered in so much baby oil you’d think they have shares in Johnson & Johnson.

Kevin:    You know, this summer has really been awesome, it’s been the best ever.
Toby:    The best is yet to come.
Kevin:    We’ll still see each other, won’t we?
Toby:    What do you want to do?
Kevin:    What do you want to do?
Toby:    Well, how do you feel about us?
Kevin:    How do you feel?
Toby:    If things get bad at home again, you know you’ve got a place to stay.

And yes girls, there is some hot lesbian action — I close my eyes during those bits. Apart from the girls wearing  way too much eye shadow, they are not too bad. As for Thea Gil (Lindsay from Queer as Folk), what was she thinking? But hey, she can act, maybe it will rub off the rest of the cast. I heard season two gets better.

But the worst thing about the show is... I can’t drag myself away from the bloody thing. I love it! I find myself totally mesmerised. Is it the soft-porn sex scenes? Maybe it’s the hot guys strutting around completely naked — often with absolutely no relationship to the story line. Sometimes it’s like, ‘Hey, let’s cut a naked guy in now.’ Hilarious! I think I love it because it’s just so, so bad and so cheesy — I can’t stop laughing while getting a woody at the same time.

So if you’re happy to forego quality TV in exchange for some ridiculously good looking bodies, and you like watching silly, over-the-top American soap operas, then Dante’s Cove is definitely worth some of your time  — especially if you see the funny side of the whole thing. Dante’s Cove definitely has potential as a “camp classic” — think Ed Wood.

http://www.dantescove.com/