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Head-scratching and shouldershrugging my way through Westfield, I became increasingly frustrated with what the ‘straighty 180’ stores had on offer for us gays this Christmas. I mean, cargo shorts are over, and who really needs the Cold Chisel box set? I began to realise what weall need right now is some cheery, queer ideas for gayer gifts. Whether buying for your BF, or your BFF, or just your FF, here is a bit of a guide to what’s out there for you.
 Deliciously Hot Priests.
No, you didn’t read that wrong. There is, and has been for a number of years now, an annual Hot Priests Calendar featuring men of the clergy looking… well, hot. All the men of cloth are your typical gorgeous Italian types, and the featured photos look like a cross between the French Rugby team and an episode of Vicar Of Dibley.
It’s all a bit odd, and the website is shoddily pasted together, but the merchandise is very real and available through both Amazon and eBay, so it’s obviously legit. They even have their own Facebook and Twitter accounts! A must if you have a Thorn Birds fetish, or if you just want to enjoy the kitsch and blasphemous nature of it all.
Check it out : facebook.com/calendarioromano
 Dr Who and Sarah Jane
WHO? The doctor’s Companion Piece. If you, or someone you know, is a Doctor Who nut then this Christmas is going to be the best one Walford has ever seen (inside Doctor Who joke there – sorry if you missed it!). Elisabeth Sladen, famous for playing arguably the most beloved of all the Doctor’s female companions Sarah Jane Smith, releases her posthumous autobiography in time for the Christmas rush.
Penned just prior to losing her battle with cancer last April, a final draft was put together with the help and blessing of her family, and Who fans are in for quite a treat. She dishes on her golden days with Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker, the two doctors she worked with from 1973 – 1976, as well as anecdotes a-plenty about Sarah Jane’s return to the revamped series in 2006. In fact, former Doctor David Tennant – a Who aficionado himself – has written the foreword. This is an un-missable glimpse into the world of a TV cult classic, and one of the legends who knew it best.
It’s available at all good book stores or online from here!
 The Campest Crystal Ever
Crystal Sparkly delights. Finally, a gift that’s camp and piss elegant and perfect for your Christmas feast. Legend has it that the Champagne Coupe was modelled on Marie Antoinette’s breasts, and if they were anything like the dusty old saucers that sat at the back of my parent’s hutch then it’s a wonder the old girl got any action at all. But the boat-shaped glassware is now being polished up and brought back thanks to boutique wine bars and an art deco renaissance inspired by all the hype surrounding the upcoming Baz Luhrmann film, The Great Gatsby. If it’s for Daisy Buchanan then it’s for the gays! And in the words of Mike Welch from one of Canberra’s leading crystal glassware retailers Hang Ups Australia, “You can’t stack flutes when you’re building a champagne fountain!” Words to live by.
For more details drop by Hang Ups in Canberra Cnr Gladstone & Kembla Streets in Fyshwick.
 That perfect gift for your dad!
It can be hard to find the perfect gift for your ‘straighty 180’ dad or that 'not so camp' gay friend — but this year Sony Music has all your problems sorted with The great Australian Songbook. With an impressive 40 songs of Australia’s finest recording artists you can't go wrong.
The great Australian Songbook features selections from some of the best Australian recordings from Last Century (CD1) and This Century (CD2). 40 of Australia’s finest recording artists have been invited to contribute their cherished recordings in this generation spanning collection of Australian history. The iconic cover pays tribute to Sir Sidney Nolan’s ‘Ned Kelly’ (1946). It is an original work by acclaimed Australian artist Rolf Harris and was commissioned specifically for The Great Australian Songbook.
If you really want to get in the good books buy the Premium Edition, it's lovingly compiled and luxuriously presented in a hardcover book format, containing 2 CD's and all encased in a lift lid (chocoloate box style) box set. An undeniable treasure - this is a truly essential piece of Australian history.
Grab a copy from JB HIFI, the ABC shop or your local music shop. FUSE has free copies of the 2 disc CD to giveaway to the frist 5 people to email us.
 The Showgirl must go on
Bette Midler Gay icon. She’s had a long, illustrious career that began in the bathhouses of New York City in the 1970s, and brought her all the way to Caesar’s Palace. Which is seedier I really can’t decide, but Bette Midler is one of the greatest live performers you’re likely to see, no matter what stage she’s playing. There is a reason she is an icon, and it’s all right here in this HBO special. Not quite as bawdy as she once was, Midler has still got it in the vocal department, and this DVD of her most recent Vegas production showcases that and her innate ability to hold an audience captive from go to whoa! All the hits are here, and a few old surprises. The Showgirl Must Go On is a must-see for the holidays.
Available at JB HiFi and all good music stores or online.
FUSE has copies of The Showgirl Must Go On to giveaway to the first five people to email LOVE BETTE!
 Pop Life
A way of life. To anyone who read it religiously, Smash Hits was more than a magazine: It was a way of life. It dictated what was hip and happening in the world of pop music and television, but never in a pretentious too-cool-for-school way. It instead tapped into a devoted teen audience by being the voice of ‘the kids’, with the same level of eagerness and excitement its readership had. It was around for over a decade, invented its own vernacular, and was always hilarious.
Now three of the former Editors have banded together to write an almanac of the magazine’s Greatest Hits of sorts called Pop Life: Inside Smash Hits Australia. If you grew up obsessed with Kylie or Madonna or Wham! or Duran Duran or Michael Jackson or 90210 or East 17 or the Pet Shop Boys or Kim Wilde or Kids In The Kitchen or Christian Slater or anyone who ever was anyone from 1984–2007, then this is the ideal pressie to give yourself this Christmas. Buy a copy here or Check it out on facebook.
 Ditch the Xmas carols
Our very own Darren Hayes is one part pop star and one part kooky creative. His problem has always been marrying the two, and so far his offerings have been either too experimental for his commercial audience or too poppy for the diehard fans. This album at last strikes the perfect balance, and as a stocking filler it might just make everyone a happy homo this Christmas. It’s a collection of electro-gothic lyrics about death and heartache and metaphoric tides over bouncy, uplifting, string-filled melodies.
It’s big, it’s gay, and the cover art is green and red (ish) so it blends perfectly with your tinsel and nativity scenes. It’s got ballads and dance tracks in equal measure and will have you dancing and singing along all Christmas day right through til New Years.
Available on iTunes, at JB HiFi and all good retailers.
 Thank you Mood!
Project Runway is the stuff of gay legend. It manages to be tense and exciting and fabulously entertaining week after week. Part of this is the crazy creativity showcased, and because of the genius casting of both contestants and regulars. None more so than incomparable mentor Tim Gunn, who curiously pulls off criticism and inspiration in the same sentence and inspires the contestants to do their best, even when they’re at their lowest. Each week Tim trots them all off to a fabric store on 37th Street called Mood, and as they leave with their wares he calls out jovially ‘Thank you Mood!’ It was with major excitement then to find out that Mood are selling merchandise with this fabulously gay catchphrase on their website, including aprons, badges, bags and of course t-shirts. This is the ultimate gift for your TV obsessed bestie!
Available exclusively through the Mood website
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