Why is it, my friends, that when we are desolate, alone and in a dehydrated state dragging ourselves through that hot and dry desert that is life, there is not a man in sight?

Yet suddenly, as we claw our way half-dead toward that shaky mirage where a potential man awaits us, the heavens open and pour down onto us? Suddenly, men are as far as the eye can see. You’re now completely surrounded by them. What fun it is jumping over puddles and singing in the rain — but you must exercise caution, as I will explain!

Initially, this is a wonderful novelty and you’re simply spoilt for choice before you hastily decide to pick one out. All is well initially, but the very moment he has been evaporated back into the clouds above, you’re stuck back sweltering in the same desert with none of the men from the previous downpour in sight.

It seems that this is one phenomenon we can’t blame on global warming, or can we? In the footsteps of Murphy’s Law, I’ve devised my own theory for FUSE; I call it the ‘Geri Halliwell Theory’. However, it is a double-edged sword. As allegorically described above, it does indeed rain men! In fact it absolutely buckets them down. The flip side however is that this isn’t a nice regular shower, instead it’s an absolute torrential drenching that is few and far between!

My advice? As tempting as it is to ‘go and let yourself get absolutely soaking wet’, make a wise decision with the man that has fallen from the heavens. Because who knows when that downfall will come again, if ever!

Alexander Abbey — Youth writer for FUSE Magazine