"I believe that everyone should have the right to get married if that’s what they want to do." Fiona Patten.
Are you sick of the choices at election times? Do you like sex? Are your views about censorship, gay marriage and adult classifications for computer games, to name a few, way ahead of the current Government’s? Do you enjoy a double entendre or two? Then read on!
My brief was to interview Fiona Patten, the Convenor of the Australian Sex Party. I went about arming myself with information about ASP and its convenor. Like many Canberrans, I have often heard Fiona on the radio and am familiar with her ease around the topic of sex. To be honest, I felt like a prude. Through the course of our interview I moved between “mature-woman-about-town-with-a-handle-on-it” to the “oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-she-just-said-orgiastic-notions blusher”. In political speak I understand what a “quota” is and I have done my fair share of handing out how-to-vote cards at election times, but I went bright red when she mentioned those same how-to-vote cards covered in condoms, lube and dental dams.
So, having all those facts at your fingertips, dear reader, I hope you enjoy reading this article.
The Australian Sex Party (or ASP as Fiona called it, enjoying the reference back to the famous Garden of Eden and its naughty snake of temptation) is about to come out. With Fiona as its Convenor and Billy Connolly/Richard Branson look-alike, Robbie Swan, as its Public Officer/Journalist hack, sex is about to take on a whole new meaning. Together they are libertarians who believe in living and letting live.
“We don’t want to restrict what adults do, as long as they don’t hurt others,” she says, putting ASP’s objectives into one very neat sentence.
Registering a political party is no easy job. It takes a lot of work, a lot of networking, a lot of membership obtaining and a lot of patience. Then, when you’ve jumped through all the form filling hoops, you have to wait to hear how many Australians are going to object. Then there’s more waiting until you get the official nod. Surprisingly the Australian Electoral Commission only received four — yes only four — submissions about why it wasn’t a good idea to allow the Australian Sex Party to be registered. And if you’re like me, and think that the objections came from high flying right wing types with a lot of followers then, just like me, you’d be wrong. The objectors were run of the mill Australians.
I believe that everyone should have the right to get married if that’s what they want to do.
After all the hoo-ha, the only valid objection was about the name. The Australian Electoral Commission had to do some legal digging to determine whether the name ‘Australian Sex Party’ was, in fact, obscene.
“Apparently the name ‘Australian Sex Party’ conjured up orgiastic notions,” Fiona told this blushing reporter.
“Society is willing to let a lesbian have responsibility for our children, but won’t recognise their relationships,” Fiona says, “I don’t believe any Australian law should discriminate against someone because of their sexuality or their sex or their gender.”
On the subject of gay marriage, Fiona says she was very impressed with the progressive laws that the ACT Legislative Assembly tried to pass but not at all impressed with the way those laws had to be changed.
“ACT Labor was forced to change their laws by the Federal Government, by Prime Minister Rudd himself.”
Fiona has strong personal opinions about marriage, and believes that everyone should have the right to get married if that’s what they want to do.
The Australian Sex Party had a presence at the recent national rally supporting gay marriage. One of their policies is to create total equal rights in all areas of the law for gay, lesbian and transgender couples. In support of this policy they attended the rally and added their voice to the thousands of others supporting the rights of same sex couples to marry.
In the next federal election the Australian Sex Party is hoping to stand candidates in every State. They’re focussing on running candidates in the Senate. In fact, she is very aware of how important a balance of power in the Senate could be. It’s like Fred Nile in the NSW Parliament.
“In NSW no one wants to upset Fred Nile because one day they will need his vote. I’d like to be the Fred Nile of the Senate. I’d like them to need our vote.”
Look out Senators Conroy and Fielding in Victoria. The ASP is coming after you. Well, they won’t be stealing votes from these conservative Senators, but they will be a new and different name on the ballot paper.
“We’ll be looking like the golden light on that ballot paper,” Fiona says.
And when the Australian Sex Party campaigns at election time, they will be putting all their creative juices into their slogans. I offered her some of my own, which were borne out of my embarrassment about talking about it. She laughed and told me some of the slogans they’ve already thought of: “…where you come first!” and “…we’re serious about sex!”
One thousand adult shops around Australia will become their campaign offices, together with a similar number of websites which will be distributing their political message and the blush-making slogans.
“Thirty per cent of Australian adults are customers of those businesses,” she said, proudly.
If you want to learn more about the Australian Sex Party check out their website. It’s crammed with interesting information about who they are and what they stand for, and it includes a strong voice for the LGBTI community.
They have a range of policy positions and Fiona says that sex is a broad issue which relates to taxation, censorship, health and education.
“It becomes a very broad platform and we represent and fight for a lot of different issues.”
“I want a defence policy that says, ‘make love, not war’.”
So come on, Canberra. If like Fiona and Robbie you believe that the current lot of politicians up on The Hill aren’t speaking for you, why not put a ‘1’ next to the ASP at the next election?
It’ll certainly be an interesting addition to the political landscape. They’re coming ... errmm... ready or not.
Fiona Patten is Convener of the Australian Sex Party. She was good mates with Don Chipp and she was once on trial for Contempt of Parliament for threatening to ‘out’ hypocritical National Party politicians.
